


Five Attempts at Seduction in Gotham

by dytabytes



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU, DCU - Comicverse, DCU Animated
Genre: 5 Things, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-21
Updated: 2010-05-21
Packaged: 2017-10-09 15:36:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/88941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dytabytes/pseuds/dytabytes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times someone in Gotham has tried to seduce someone else. Note the word <i>try</i>. There's a reason why the batclan is so stiff.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Attempts at Seduction in Gotham

**1) Failure **

"Hey there sexy lady."

Dick leans down and wraps his arms around his girlfriend's shoulders, leaning over her head to peer at the screens.

"How's the world doing tonight?"

Barbara spins her chair around, smiling, and reaches up to wrap her arms around Dick's neck and pull him down to her level.

"Hmm, pretty well, shortpants. Most everywhere's quiet or taken care of. Why?"

"Mm, I might be thinking of trying to distract you."

He grins against her neck as he nuzzles at the corner of her jaw.

"Why Mister Grayson, are you trying to seduce me?"

She purrs throatily and arches her neck. Of course, in the great tradition of the world, alarm klaxons start blaring just as Dick is about to reply. Both of them stiffen, then Oracle is immediately at her station, typing frantically. For a moment, Babs turns around to give Dick a regretful look.

"Sorry, maybe-?"

"Later." Dick smiles weakly. He understands what the duties of Oracle entail. "I'll be back when you're less busy."

She's already re-absorbed in her work as Dick waves goodbye.

**2) Not Quite **

Tim had just finished his patrol report for the night when Batgirl materialized from the shadows.

"Oh, hey Cass. You doing okay?"

She nods quietly and smiles.

"Hit bad guys. Firefly go to Arkham. Night was good."

Tim grins and gives her a thumbs up.

"That's great Cass."

He stands and stretches, popping his spine as he arches up and back.

"Oof. Man, it's been a long night. Bruce and I met up with Killer Croc and, geez, the guy may be a little slow, but he's strong and stubborn as anything. I'm gonna be limping tomorrow for sure."

Cass nods and pokes Tim in the stomach.

"Saw it on teevee. Bad form. Sloppy footwork."

Tim yelps defensively.

"Hey! I didn't do that badly! I'm still here, aren't I?"

Cass pauses and ... sinks a little.

"No. But could do better. Not get hurt so much."

His righteous anger deflates a little.

"Oh, well, yeah, I guess."

Hesitantly, Cass ventures a question.

"Will work tomorrow... together?"

"Uh, sure?"

They don't always spar together, but if Cass is the one who noticed his mistakes, working with her would be a given, right?

"Good."

And Cass smiles and presses her lips to Tim's cheek. As he stands there in shock, she adds, "Is date." and dashes up the stairs to the manor.

Tim blinks and slowly raises a hand to touch his face, smiling in spite of himself.

"Huh."

**3) Temptation**

Poison Ivy slowly descends from her verdant throne, stalking towards her captive with a smile on her face.

"Is the green not beautiful, my dark knight?"

Batman stands with his arms crossed, unmoving even as she creeps closer.

"Shall we revel in it together as green goddess and her loyal companion? Would that please you?"

Her fingertips brush across Batman's chest, a caress that is slow, seductive and ultimately, a failure.

Batman's hand comes up and grabs Poison Ivy's wrist with a firm grip just as he growls.

"I don't think it would. Put your plants to sleep again, Ivy. You're coming with me and I don't think they'll live too long in the winter without you."

Ivy shrieks and tries to claw and his face in her affronted fury, but Batman stoically catches her in cuffs and knocks her out with a nerve pinch.

Only when he's sure she is unconscious does he allow himself to smirk.

Anti-toxin is a beautiful thing when pre-injected.

**4) Blunt Force **

Helena whirls into Vic's apartment with all the subtlety of a Class Four hurricane, leaning over him and covering his eyes.

"Vic."

He pauses.

"Helena, remove your hands from my eyes. I need to finish this."

"No you don't. We've been working on that case for a week now and there isn't going to be any progress until the rat smokes himself out of his hole."

"I can still-"

"Ah. Did I say I was finished?"

Vic's mouth snaps shut with a click. His posture changes subtly as he realizes what's going to happen next.

"No. My apologies."

"Hmmm."

Helena's eyes are lidded and she leans closer as she hums, running her fingers down Vic's chest and toying with his tie.

"I just had a horrible day at work and the case isn't going anywhere and I'm frustrated as all hell, but going on patrol in the rain isn't going to help that."

"No... it wouldn't."

"But I still need some stress relief."

She nips at the tip of Vic's ear and grins when he slowly reaches out to close his laptop. He turns in her embrace and stands, wrapping his arms around her.

"And you think I could help with that?"

He raises an eyebrow and she laughs, hands already tugging of his jacket.

"Honey, if I didn't, I wouldn't have come here, now would I?"

**5) Original Sin **

"Hey there stud. Nice to see you again."

Catwoman purrs and cradles her stolen prize to her chest.

"That doesn't belong to you, Catwoman."

"Mmm, no, but it should, shouldn't it? Diamonds are a girl's best friend, but they're a _cat's_ favourite toy."

She growls playfully and saunters closer, leaning in until their noses are almost touching and their foggy breath mixes in the chill autumn air. She whispers in a sultry tone.

"Plus, I don't think they'd go very well with your look, Mister Dark Vengeance."

To Batman's credit he is only shaken for a moment before he reaches out to snatch at the precious bag full of stolen jewels.

"Give them back-"

And she dances backward, as light on her feet as the cats she loves so much.

"Or you'll come take them from me?"

Catwoman smirks and winks.

"You'll have to _catch_ me first, big boy."

She leaps up and swings off the rooftop with a crack of her whip, laughing freely as Batman snarls and comes after her. Their age old game of hunter and hunted continues, although who plays which part nowadays is anyone's guess.


End file.
